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I agree with Vally – there is no rambling, just outpouring of grief. You need that, and we all understand, from the depth of ourhearts.
I am quite sure you will have the strength to do the tennis/gym class – you are obvious a strong person.
Like you, I can get fed up sometimes with humans and what they do – but then there are some wonderful, kind and generous people out there too. You are one of them.
xxxx
Dearest Maura, I’m so glad you are talking with us here about your grief. I agree with you, I too have met the most amazing, generous people through the fight against this disease. And you are one of them — so very strong, already talking about continuing to fight by telling people about this disease and potential triggers.
I hope you slept well. I have struggled a lot with insomnia and I have a deal with my doctor — if I lie there for an hour and I’m not asleep, I take ativan (cousin to xanax). Last night was one of those nights for me too.
Thinking of you and Jill and Mike and sending you love and hugs —
tamara xoxoxo
Dearest Maura, Jill and Mike,
I just watched Sunny Funnies and was laughing out loud! Jill, you are a precious little girl (or should I say, young lady). I love your videos and shhh…..I won’t tell mom you took her brand new Crocs to feed to Sunny. But Sunny did turn her nose up to the Crocs for the ball (from PetSmart you say?!) , even retrieving it in the shoe! Well, that was just way too cute and I think you have a profession here, movie producer. :)
It’s definitely the ‘letting go’ that is the hardest. I wish there were words to immediately help you feel less pain and sorrow, but I know they are hollow now. We love our pets so much. They are our sole mates and our best friends. I think of all here, on this forum, that have lost their beloved fur children and it brings me to tears each and every time.
Today, I took Sadie to the vet for her PCV check. She did well, thank goodness – Sadie is one of the very lucky ones. But while there, a gentleman walked in with one of the most beautiful little cocker spaniels I have ever seen. She is a party color, black and white, with the longest Mabeline eye lashes I have ever seen. She is ever so small and ever so sweet. Lucky Girl is her name. She is 1 1/2 years old, bought from a very notable breeder here in Florida. Sadie and she hit it off immediately. But all I could think of other than her beautiful look and her beautiful disposition, is that I prey she never, never has to deal with what my Sadie has had to deal with over the last two years. The Cocker Spaniel breed is 33% statically known to come down with AIHA/IMHA. And Lucky was in for a vaccination. I wanted to grab her, say “no” – don’t do it. But I couldn’t. After all, I was at the vets where they make $$ doing exactly this. How is this man to know? Who will tell him? Does he need to be told? Will his Lucky Girl, be lucky indeed?
Maura, I left there crying. Crying for you and what you went through with your Sunny. Crying for all the beautiful animals we have lost to this dreaded disease. Crying for all that just don’t know how to intercept AIHA/IMHA. It’s unacceptable and we will continue our fight. Please, when you are able, share your story of Sunny and what you have gone through. It’s a work in progress here and your story will undoubtedly help others.
Writing Sadie’s story, even though she is still with me, was really hard for me to do. It brought back so much anger about her relapse and her long battle. But it also helped too, to put all in perspective. And most of all, writing Sadie’s Story helped me realize how very much I wanted to help other fur parents and fur children dealing with AIHA/IMHA. It was beautiful Chance that brought Patrice here to start this forum. Sadie, and all the others here, is now a piece of the Second Chance forum puzzle and we’re putting the pieces together in hope of helping anyone, anytime, in any way.
In time, join us here, you, your family and Sunny’s story, will help join the pieces of this puzzle. It’s what we can do to be positive and move forward.
I am so thinking of you with much love, Linda and Sadie
Dearest Maura, You have been on my mind so much. I know you are going through some horrible feelings right now and your heart hurts so that you feel you won’t make it. But you will make it.
Please don’t beat yourself up with the ‘what ifs’ because you were there every moment with Sunny. Your love and devotion to her outshined everything and she knew that.
I just feel, as I’m sure you did when you made that decision, it has to be about quality of life. Had you kept Sunny going, it would have been for you, not her. You did a very unselfish thing, you let her go and brought her peace instead of the misery she was in. It’s crippling – the pain of missing your precious girl, but you will gather yourself up and you will go on. You have much to do. Your help to conquer this horrible disease is needed very much. Yes, much to do.
Do dogs/cats have a soul? I have to believe they do. I too, was catholic – and not overly religious. But I have to believe that if there is a God, and I like to think there is, that he is a loving and caring God and that all the creatures here on earth, human and animal, have a reason and have a soul. For animals, dogs, cats – maybe it is the Bridge, maybe it is Heaven – where ever it is, like Lynda, I hope I go there, where the animals go. I’ve always said, I like animals (well, I usually say dogs, but it’s animals period) more than people. There are some people that I question if they have a soul, but I never question that of an animal – they most certainly must have a soul. So, I believe Sunny is free and happy, healthy, at peace and her soul will live on forever.
I think it’s perfectly normal to feel all the sorrow you are feeling. I really think you need to just let yourself feel it. And you never need to apologize for it. There is no timeframe to your heart with sorrow. I have been right where you are right now. You never, ever forget, but the pain will lesson some as time goes by. And one day you’ll notice that you can think of Sunny and manage a smile, because you’ll realize she is never far away – you will always keep Sunny in your heart. Always.
Huge hugs and much love, Linda
Hello to Everyone,
My local vet who gave Sunny the vaccines in June got my letter and called me to dispute that the vaccines could not have caused AIHA. He said he was sympathetic but that the shots caused nothing.
I may be in my anger stage. Somehow a little beautiful dog is lost to a horrible condition and no one could help her and it may have had a trigger causing it.
Keep praying for me. I am struggling today. So much of what i did in a day centered around Sunny. I also used to talk to her constantly. I know she listened intently.
The shih-tzu calendar I always buy has a great october quote about Sunshine. I am trying to keep myself busy.
Thank you Lind and Lynda and everyone else for listening.
Your friend,
Maura
Hi dear Maura,
Keep having a chat to Sunny – she is listening, I am absolutely sure of that.
How sad & tunnel visioned of your vets – this is a typical “establishment” view. Vaccines do trigger AIHA – science fact, not science fiction – there is plenty of medical evidence to back this up. No wonder you are angry – I would be too.
Loads of love & hugs, Sheena xxxx
Maura, I suspect the vet is just trying to cover himself by not admitting any guilt. By admitting that it may have been a trigger, probably opens him up against a possible claim.
My specialist basically said no more vaccines of any sort. Ever.
I’m sorry it’s a hard day for you, and I’m sure there will be many more unfortunately. But I’m also sure one day, you’ll be able to smile again and tell everyone about all the wonderful and fun times without it breaking your heart.
Lots of love, Vally